For the love of Skinny B*tches

Lately it feels like every time I turn my head to the right, there is a blog post, Facebook post, Instagram photo or magazine cover discussing how the ‘big girl’ can now boldly say how she loves herself and is comfortable in her skin. Tummy’s with their tiger stripes, legs and often boobs are proudly displayed and shown in the image to match the headline.

These ladies are proud. Glowing. Healthy. And they are congratulated and applauded for their efforts for giving society the finger and showing that you don’t have to be ‘skinny’ to be happy. It’s a movement amongst women, where they are banding together to feel freedom in their bodies and not be weighed down by the opinions of others. Learning to see their bodies for the amazing machines that they are, for the incredible job they did growing their children and loving their battle scars and stories their body has walked them through over the years.

Age 19 - Living a lifestyle less ideal than I do now.

Living a lifestyle less ideal than I do now.

However, whenever I turn my head to the left, I see the opposite of smaller women. So called ‘skinny bitches’ who’s bodies look like the type that ‘everyone’ wants to have. These women are slammed for being ‘too skinny’, ‘too hard’, ‘too athletic’ or ‘too muscly’. So why are these women not given the congratulations and applause equally? Why are they given a hard time?

These women are those who maybe started with a great gene pool (or not), but are also living lifestyles that are perhaps closer to what is widely accepted these days as very healthy. Maybe they don’t eat too much sugar and flour, have portion control down to a fine art, eat mostly whole foods and loads of fresh vegetables and fruit. They exercise 3+ days per week at intensities that build muscle and strip fat – which give that lean look. Yet…. they get torn down for it.

Those of us who live a LIFESTYLE of healthy food choices and healthy exercise choices (not to also forget getting enough sleep, having stress strategies in place and good hormone balance) should be admired and respected as well. For lots of us, what likely started as striving for a certain aesthetic, has now evolved into being as healthy as we possibly can be. We have learnt to live in a way that makes us feel great, feel clear in the head and yes, we feel good in our bodies too!

In terms of healthy lifestyle choices that are on a scale of 1-10, we should be giving as much praise to those that are a 10/10 as we do to the ladies who are further down the scale. We are all somewhere along that line. Some of us may not want to be a 10 and that’s absolutely fine. But there is no need to put down those that are.

As someone who now has a lifestyle of about a 9/10 and the body that slowly comes with that, I feel more judged than ever before. Even than when I was 12kgs heavier. Back then, I was what I was, and no one commented. Now, I get people giving me dirty looks, avoiding me or saying to me that I “exercise too much,” “only must eat rabbit food,” or “you are getting too skinny.” And, my personal favourite, “yeah, but it’s easy for you!”

Working out, while my children play outside.

Really!? So, because I LOVE exercising and LOVE eating lots of vegetables and rarely eat sugary/floury foods, gives you the right to comment and judge me? And yes, on that last one, you are right. It IS easy for me, because I have turned all my bad habits into good ones. But I still have three small children. I work. I do all the jobs around the house. I am pushed for time. But I MAKE my time to exercise and cook food from scratch a priority and therefore, no, it’s not too hard.
But where were the ‘well meaning’ comments when I drank myself into oblivion every weekend, followed by a chaser of McD’s, Pizza Hut and a family size bag of lollies? Surely those habits of mine were more destructive and harmful…

I wonder if all the negative attention those of us living in smaller/leaner bodies get, stems ultimately from insecurities from those that are sitting on the other side of the fence. They would like to achieve that sort of lifestyle that gives  a women that figure, but haven’t quite reached it yet and therefore they feel the need to body shame the Skinny Bitch to make themselves feel better.

They justify it with comments like “she must be starving herself,” “she must work out ALL the time to get that body,” or “being that thin isn’t even healthy.” Sorry, but no. None of those need to be true. I’ll admit, yes, a portion of thin women are not healthy and lead unhealthy lifestyles that make them small. But in a society where closer to 60{37fa2c4f919d3d259d20a9fab22f7d8436118aceace67cd66e604ddaa8b6b907} of us are overweight, I would say that there are a lot more larger women out there with damaging and unhealthy lifestyles than there are smaller women.

So, next time to see that ‘skinny bitch’ looking fabulous in her new dress, instead of thinking hurtful comments (or worse, opening your mouth and saying them), give her praise for her healthy lifestyle! Build her up! Tell her how great she looks! Tell her how she is winning at life! Just as you would the larger women who also looks amazing in her new dress! Both are happy. Both look great. Be kind to both.

Early morning weights sessions.

Remember; Skinny bitches also have feelings. Skinny bitches get hurt by words. And skinny bitches would love a compliment or two as well….

Fi xxx